Comics in Category : Dumb Things People Do
The Procrastination Game
Strip Info
- Title
- The Procrastination Game
- Date
- May 8, 2022
- Tags
- Bird, couch, creativity, dumb things people do, Kevin, mental health, productivity, relatable, self care, videogames
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Int. Living Room – Day
-
Kevin sits on his couch, controller in hand, playing a video game. His bird sits next to him.
-
- Kevin
- Ugh. This game sucks.
- Bird
- Then why not play a game you like?
- Panel 2 : Int. Living Room – Continuous
-
Kevin replies.
-
- Kevin
- Because if I play a game I like, I’ll get absorbed and won’t do the other things I have to do today.
- Panel 3 : Int. Living Room – Continous
-
The bird ponders.
-
- Bird
- So why not do those other things first, then play a game you like?
- Kevin
- Because playing games is how I procrastinate.
- Panel 4 : Int. Living Room – Continous
-
The bird looks concerned.
-
- Bird
- Wow, you’re all messed up, huh?
- Kevin
- My therapist calls me his “goldmine.”
What’s In Your Wallet?
Strip Info
- Title
- What’s In Your Wallet?
- Date
- April 3, 2022
- Tags
- Bird, Bitcoin, crypto, dumb things people do, Kevin, Metaverse, orc warrior, scams, social interactions, virtual reality
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Int. The Metaverse – Day
-
Kevin and his orc guide walk through a Metaverse landscape.
-
- Kevin
- So how do I get a sweet metaverse avatar like yours?
- Orc
- You have to pay for it.
- Panel 2 : Int. The Metaverse – Continuous
-
Still walking.
-
- Kevin
- With real money?
- Orc
- With crypto!
- Kevin
- So… not real money?
- Panel 3 : Int. Metaverse – Continuous
-
The orc stops. Kevin stands behind him
-
- Orc
- Kinda. It’a a digital curency. Here: let’s set up a wallet for you.
-
The orc reaches towards a glowing Bitcoin wallet icon.
- Panel 4 : Int. The Metaverse – Continuous
-
In the real world, Kevin stands in his living room, looking confused in a VR headset. His bird perches on his arm.
-
- Bird
- How’s it going in there?
- Kevin
- I think I’m about to get swindled.
Keyboard Generals
Strip Info
- Title
- Keyboard Generals
- Date
- March 7, 2022
- Tags
- current events, Dunning Kruger, politics, President, single panel, Situation Room, social media, Twitter, war
- Notes
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Int. The Situation Room – Day
-
A stressed US President hunches over a large conference table in The Situation Room. Seated around the table are military generals, advisers, and policy leaders. On the table are laptops and papers with sensitive military information. The President motions to a round, bald-headed man wearing wraparound sunglasses and a Bored Ape Yacht Club t-shirt standing beside him. The guy throws up the devil horns sign.
“Gentlemen, this is a very precarious international situation, Which is why I brought in @callofdoody69 for his expert opinion.”
The Tale of Climate Policy – Part 2
Strip Info
- Title
- The Tale of Climate Policy – Part 2
- Date
- September 5, 2021
- Tags
- bedtime story, castle, climate change, forest fires, King, The Kingdumb, villagers
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Ext. Castle – Day
-
A storybook king stands atop his castle, addressing his subjects below. Behind him, flames and a great plume of smoke waft skywards.
-
- King
- Good news! I have a plan to end the wildfiles ravaging our kingdom…
- Panel 2 : Ext. Castle – Continuous
-
The crowd below cheers.
-
- Crowd
- Huzzah!
- Panel 3 : Ext. Castle – Continuous
-
The king continues
-
- King
- …over the next thirty years!
- Panel 4 : Int. Bedroom – Night
-
A modern-day child lays in their bed, looking confused.
-
- Little Boy
- Wait- Why thirty years? The forest is on fire now!
-
Sitting at the foot of the bed, the mother scowls at the bedtime story she’s reading.
-
- Mom
- Because the king and all his rich friends will be dead by then.
The Tale of Climate Policy – Part 1
Strip Info
- Title
- The Tale of Climate Policy – Part 1
- Date
- August 22, 2021
- Tags
- blacksmith, castle, climate change, dumb things people do, forest fires, King, politics, The Kingdumb, villagers, white people
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Ext. Castle – Day
-
The Tale of Climate Policy
-
A medieval King stands on the wall of his castle, looking over the nearby village. An aide stands next to him, gesturing at the burning forest beyond.
-
- Aide
- Your Highness, the forest beyond the village is aflame again!
- King
- Hmmm. What seems to be the cause?
- Panel 2 : Ext. Castle – Continuous
-
The King listens, stroking his beard and pondering.
-
- Aide
- We believe it to be the sparks from the Blacksmith’s shop.
- King
- Then I shall speak to the Blacksmith!
- Panel 3 : Int. Blacksmith’s Shop – Later
-
The King stands opposite the Blacksmith in his shop. The Blacksmith is twice the size of the King and twice as mean-looking. A nearby kiln showers sparks everywhere.
-
- King
- Fair Blacksmith! Could you please produce less sparks from your shop?
- Blacksmith
- No.
- Panel 4 : Ext. Castle – Later
-
The King stands atop his castle wall, addressing the villagers below. Behind him, a great plume of smoke and embers rises.
-
- King
- I HAVE DONE ALL I CAN TO STOP THE FOREST FIRES!
Jenga For Beginners
Strip Info
- Title
- Jenga For Beginners
- Date
- August 15, 2021
- Tags
- board games, dumb things people do, guest writer, jenga, single panel
- Notes
-
This comics was written by the criminally funny Opus Moreschi
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Int. Void – Day
-
A man stands hunched over a table, hand to his forehead, biting his lip in nervousness. On either side of him, his friends gather, shouting with anticipation. On the table in front of them is a single, rectangular block of wood, standing on it’s end like a tower. A very stable tower. The nervous man raises his hand to touch it. To the side, a box lies open with the label “Jenga For Beginners.”
The Kingdom That Almost Won
Strip Info
- Title
- The Kingdom That Almost Won
- Date
- August 1, 2021
- Tags
- bedtime story, COVID, dragon, dumb things people do, knight, medieval, misinformation, pandemic, The Kingdumb, villagers, white people
- Notes
-
This comic went crazy viral (go figure). Here’s my Twitter thread examining the spread.
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Ext. Kingdumb – Day
-
A medieval knight points at a giant dragon lying on its back in a destroyed village. The knight beckons to nearby villagers.
-
- Knight
- Look! The dragon is almost slain! Let us arm ourselves and end its reign of terror!
- Panel 2 : Ext. Kingdumb – Continuous
-
The nearby villagers look at their armor with skepticism.
-
- Villager 1
- Wait- What’s this armor made of?
- Villager 2
- The court jester says it makes you magnetic…
-
A third villager wears a helmet with visor hanging under his chin.
-
- Villager 3
- I can’t breathe in this helmet!
- Panel 3 : Ext. Kingdumb – Continuous
-
The knight looks on in despair as the villagers continue.
-
- Villager 1
- Don’t push your pro-armor agenda on us!
- Villager 2
- The dragon hasn’t eaten anyone -I- know.
- Villager 3
- We should let the dragon eat us until it gets full.
-
Meanwhile, the dragon looms over the knight.
- Panel 4 : Int. Bedroom – Night
-
In a modern-day child’s bedroom, a little boy in bed furrows his brow.
-
- Little Boy
- I don’t like this story. The people are dumb.
-
Sitting at the foot of his bed, his mother hunches over a storybook, head in hands.
-
- Mom
- -Sigh- I know.
The Cord Cutter’s Lament
Strip Info
- Title
- The Cord Cutter’s Lament
- Date
- May 9, 2021
- Tags
- Bird, cable, cord cutting, dumb things people do, Kevin, Netflix, streaming, TV
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Int. Void – Day
-
Kevin stands, looking at his credit card bill. His bird sits on his shoulder.
-
- Kevin
- Man! All these streaming services really add up!
- Panel 2 : Int. Void – Continuous
-
His bird ponders.
-
- Bird
- Hmm… if only there was a single service that gave you hundreds of channels for one price…
- Panel 3 : Int. Void – Continuous
-
Kevin starts to respond.
-
- Kevin
- …You mean like ca-
- Bird
(interrupting) - LIKE CABLE.
- Panel 4 : Int. Void – Continuous
-
His bird looks closer at his cable bill.
-
- Bird
- Also: You pay for Netflix? What a chump!
-
Kevin deadpans to camera.
A Second Opinion
Strip Info
- Title
- A Second Opinion
- Date
- May 2, 2021
- Tags
- COVID, hospital, masculinity, medicine, misinformation, pandemic, podcasts, science, single panel, toxic masculinity
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Int. Hospital Room – Day
-
A man sits up in a hospital bed, hooked up to an IV drip. He wears wraparound sunglasses. His doctor stands bedside, looking at his clipboard. Next to the doctor stands a short, muscular, bald man wearing the same wraparound sunglasses as the man in the bed.
-
- Doctor
- All my tests say you have cancer. But I called in your favorite podcast host for a second opinion.
Gossip Folks
Strip Info
- Title
- Gossip Folks
- Date
- April 4, 2021
- Tags
- bff, friends, gossip, memes, relatable, single panel, social media
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Int. Void – Day
-
A person sits at their desk, happily typing away at their laptop.
- Gossiping with my friends
- Panel 2 : Int. Void – Day
-
The same person, no longer typing, completely deflated.
- Wondering if my friends are gossiping about me
Look With Your Eyes
Strip Info
- Title
- Look With Your Eyes
- Date
- January 30, 2021
- Tags
- bffs, dumb things people do, Egg & Toast, men and women, relatable, relationships, wholesome
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Int. Home – Day
-
Toast stands in front of an open closet. Egg sits at the table across the room, working on a laptop.
-
- Toast
- Where are the light bulbs?
- Egg
- Middle shelf.
- Panel 2 : Int. Home – Continuous
-
Toast looks confused.
-
- Toast
- Where? I don’t see them.
- Egg
(stops working) - Next to the towels.
- Panel 3 : Int. Home – Continuous
-
Toast doesn’t see them.
-
- Toast
- Where?
- Egg
- -Sigh-
Egg stands up and begins to walk across the room.
- Panel 4 : Int. Home – Continuous
-
Just as Egg reaches Toast…
-
- Toast
- Oh! There they are!
-
Toast reaches for them. Egg just glowers at Toast.
Every January
Strip Info
- Title
- Every January
- Date
- January 4, 2021
- Tags
- creativity, Kevin, orbs, productivity, relatable
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Int. Void – Day
-
Kevin stands in front of a table of glittery, glowing blue orbs. Written on all of them is “2021.” Kevin’s eyes go wide in anticipation.
-
- Kevin
- Look at all these shiny new projects for the new year!
- Panel 2 : Int. Void – Continuous
-
From off-panel, something speaks.
-
- Orb (O.S.)
- What about us?
-
Kevin’s eyes look to the side.
- Panel 3 : Int. Void – Continuous
-
Behind Kevin is another table. On it sits a pile of sad, dull, misshapen grey orbs. Written on all of them is “2020.” Kevin gives them a side-eye.
- Panel 4 : Int. Void – Moments Later
-
Kevin gathers the shiny 2021 orbs in his arms. The 2020 orbs sit in a trashcan behind him.
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